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This is The 38th Signal, a weblog about design, coding, design, experience, design, constraints, cookware, and so much more. Established 2007 in Angola.

Ok, That's it, The Web, You're Officially On Notice. posted by Tony Jun 26, 2007


Alright, The Web, sit down and get cozy, because it's time we had a good chat. We've noticed how you've been experimenting lately with some new languages, trying some new things, expanding your palette, as it were. Well don't think for a second that we're going to let you get away with it. Nuh-uh.

We've notice how you've been acting like you can do better than "web pages". Putting on airs as if you can act like your older brother, The Desktop. We'll, you're not The Desktop, and you never will be.

We've worked hard to give you tables and ordered lists and various document object models and this is how you repay us? Why just the other day, we found you using plugins! Plugins!! In our Internet!

Is our Javascript not good enough for you? Why, if you can't build things with Javascript how do you expect to build things with simpler, easier to use, more integrated languages? In my day we built web pages the hard way! It builds character! When we ran across a browser that didn't understand what we meant, why we added another "if" statement! And here you are, prancing around the Internet with your hifalutin "Works-the-same-on-all-platforms-with-no-extra-work" friends.

Well, not anymore. Until further notice, no more plugins for you, young The Web. From here on out, you're on strictly animated gifs and css. You're going to build web pages the way they were meant to be built, and you'll like it! That canvas of yours is going to be restricted! Mark my words, You'd better believe it! Restricted!

And another thing! Turn that Twitter down! An Internet can't think with all that blabber!

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In loving parody of the 37signals weblog Signal vs Noise.