This profile of Dear Leader Kim Jong-il briefly summarizes his dictatorial philosophy on running North Korea:
- Listen to what the people want. Nuclear weapons and a state-run economy.
- Hire good people. “Our chief concern is obtaining top-of-the-line physicists and technicians.” It pays off: North Korea has maintained a 100% retention rate for over a decade.
- No meetings, ever. “I find them stupefying and useless. Besides, so far, I’ve never been wrong.”
- No liberal education. “I’ve always thought this was baloney. It doesn’t take a college degree to realize North Korea is perfect.”
- Forget the figures. “We consistently outperform last year without even trying. Our economy has been expanding at a high double-digit rate since the fifties!”
- Occasionally, give people “a very gentle nudge”. Usually, the imprisonment or execution of a family member is sufficient.
- He doesn’t reply to any UN Resolutions. “I’m not that talkative outside party rallies. Besides, my silence generally just increases the size of my aid package.”
- Put speed over perfection: “It doesn’t matter that my missiles can’t make it more than a couple hundred miles. Crashing them into the Pacific creates as much buzz as Southern China.”
- “Don’t screw up by doing things that let people realize South Korea is right across the border.”