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This is The 38th Signal, a weblog about design, coding, design, experience, design, constraints, cookware, and so much more. Established 2007 in Angola.

I'll Buy!!! I'll Buy!!! Please don't hurt me... posted by Tony Sep 24, 2007


The internet is full of people that, for whatever arbitrary reason, don't want your product. That's unacceptable. They can't be trusted to know how to spend their money. They need education. They need direction. And if that doesn't work, they need a little "help" making the decision to buy.

There's always one more reason not to buy, like "It's not in the budget", or "Your product is terrible", but you know best about your product, not them. Objections like "I really don't ever need to do what your product helps people do" are uninformed at best. The proposition is always clear: "Make something I want, and I'll give you my money for it". There's always that one more thing to do before customers will part with their money. Maybe they have some interesting points, but you can't sit and wait for that money to come to you, you've got a business to run.

That's why we've taken to contracting with an outside agency, The Vito Gambrese Family, to help us educate customers about the value of our products. Tony "Knuckles" Cinzetti has done wonders for our customer loyalty. The technique: Get a few key objectors "on the bandwagon" and the rest seem to fall in line. Listen to these customer endorsements:
  • This product is great. I'd never even think of being disloyal to the company ever again.
  • I love this product *wimper*. It hurts me to think of not buying another one every week *sniff*
  • Not the knees... oh god, please, not the knees...
So, let that be a lesson. There's a whole world of potential customers out there with a ton of reasons not to buy. Perhaps you just need the right kind of persuasion.

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